i was just thinking right, if i were to die today right, i dont think anybody would come to know Jesus even more because of my existence. and that's quite sad right! this earth isnt our home! and its just a transition phase on our way to a better place! yet we've settled so comfortably in this place. and just looking at my chocolate mouse cake right before me, when i just bought it,i was standing tall, so perfect! tempting, sweet. perfect really. but just 4 hours of sitting here in the library, its all melted and shitty looking. and i was actually v embarassed by it when someone came by to borrow paper from me, and my cake looked like that clump of pungsai. and then i realised thats kinda like our lives if we dont take the effort to manage it man! like we may all start out big or strong with our relationship with GOD. big experiences! we could taste his awesomeness and sweetness literally! but everything takes effort! and every relationship requires quality time and interactions! right? i dont want my relationship with God to resemble some melted mousse cake. that once was and once tasted like.. you know? but now it just merely takes its form, really looking just like pungsai. so many things have happened! one month changes so many things man! leading edge was mind blowing. and everytime you start to surrender things to GOD, funny things happened! sometimes i wonder whether sgp's really for the good of me or what?!
anyhows, i couldnt really make up my mind about a decision yesterday, and was really bogged by it! so i called the usual person who'd sit wimme and think through my lame daily thought processes right! but a one minute phone call turned into an hour in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT! and it totally reminded me of how we struggle sometimes with life, but God's definitely in control. and we never, never ever know what's going on in the beeg picture!
if only we'd be able to make a difference in everybody else's life we know.
GOD! eastercamp! then shakers conference! WHAO.
who am i to be ashamed i wonder! who am i to keep this awesome love all to myself. i dont know why i seem so radical! but there's really no time to sit and watch the world go by without jesus. so yes. i feel somewhat like a hippy. but a happy one!
